Inspirational Quotations, Musings, And Lines From Star Wars

As you get older you find that sometimes you need a little bit of a boost.  The drudgery of daily routine can put you into a bit of a funk and it is important to find your way out of it quickly.  One way to do this taking an hour and locking yourself in the basement or garage and releasing all of your stress and aggression on a piñata that looks like Tobey Maguire.  Why Tobey Maguire?  He knows...he knows.  Another less violent (and arguably less fun) way is to uplift yourself with an inspirational quote.  Here are a few that have gotten me through the grind over the years.  I have also included some that I thought of myself.  And by that I mean weird things that popped into my head after eating spicy meat late at night.

I intend to live forever.  So far so good.

- Steven Wright

 

That's not a knife.  Now THAT's a knife.

- Mick "Crocodile" Dundee 

I'll have a large with pepperoni and an order of garlic parm wings...15 minutes?  No Problem.
- Me (not as much inspirational as it is me ordering pizza and wings)

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops, farm boy! Ever try navigating a jump? Well, it's no mean trick. Without precise calculations we could fly right through a star, or bounce too close to a black hole; that'd end your trip real quick, wouldn't it?
- Han Solo

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister.
- John McClane

If life gives you lemons they say you should make lemonade.  My question is what kind of psycho goes door to door handing out lemons?
- Me

Life is uncertain; always eat dessert first.
- Anonymous

Sick have I become, old and weak... When nine hundred years old *you* reach, look as good *you* will not, hmm?
- Yoda

Life comes at you fast so you have to move fast.  But stop and take time to enjoy the little things...like Better Cheddars...damn those are tasty.
- Me

Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work.
- Silent Bob

And by that I mean weird things that popped into my head after eating spicy meat late at night.
- Me (from the first paragraph of this blog....pay attention!)

So there you have it, tiny little lessons to get you through it.  As I look over this list of infinite knowledge I can't help but think that the Tobey Maguire piñata is a much better idea after all.

Profiles In Cinematic Greatness: Maximum Overdrive

The focus of today's profile is the 1986 masterpiece titled "Maximum Overdrive".  It was the directorial debut and final directed film of a man named Stephen King.  The movie was based on a short story written by a man also named Stephen King.  Whether or not they are related is uncertain.  The movie stars the actress Yeardley Smith who, these days, is more often heard and not seen because she is the voice of Lisa Simpson.  The move also stars a young Emilio Estevez who, these days, is neither heard nor seen.  Seriously, where did he go?

So the basic story of this movie was that our planet passed through the tail of a mysterious comet and some machines came to life and turned against the human race.  The film's main focus was on the workers and patrons of "Dixie Boy", a southern truck stop.  Here are some of the things that I felt made this movie great.

This was a serious low-budget movie.  The best part about it is that they embraced the cheesiness of a low-budget movie and totally rolled with it.  There were two scenes that would have easily racked up a sizable special effects budget that they replaced with title cards that just explained what was going on.  To cut some the the vehicle smashing cost they set the movie in the south.  That way they could use old cars that were held together with duct tape and coat hangers and they wouldn't look out of place.

The soundtrack of this film was provided by the Australian rock band AC/DC.   This is a genius choice for a couple of reasons.  The movie is about trucks that come to life and attack humans.  That is what almost all of AC/DC's songs are about anyways so it fits perfectly.  The other reason this is a great choice is that the score of a film has to have some continuity throughout the film using songs with similar musical arrangements to convey different moods.  I'm pretty sure AC/DC is an anagram that stands for all of our songs sound exactly the same.

The final thing that made this a film for the ages was the brilliant character actor Emilio Estevez.  How they even got a big time movie star for such a small film remains a mystery to this day.  My theory is that he was a big star, but he wasn't "Mighty Ducks" big yet.  If this movie had been made ten years later after the Ducks trilogy there would have been no possible way he would be in this movie.  For a real treat listen to his southern accent throughout the film.  It goes from "good 'ol boy" to "I've never even heard of grits" and makes every stop in between.

So here's the deal, this movie is total B-movie cheese.  What separates it from the total crap ones is its watchability.  If you are a fan of the cheesy horror that doesn't take itself even a little seriously genre this movie is totally for you.  If you are not a fan of this genre then maybe go rent whatever movie Kate Hudson just made and never invite me over for movie night.