Profiles In Cinematic Greatness: Critters 2: The Main Course

Today's profile is a real treat.  I will be talking about the classic 1988 film "Critters 2: The Main Course".  I have seen this movie about 30 or 40 times and it gets better every time I...no it's a fairly awful movie, but we will keep going anyways.

The original "Critters" was about little, flesh eating aliens that terrorized a small town.  In a very risky move they strayed from the sure-fire formula of the first film,  "Critters 2" was about a small town that was terrorized by little, flesh eating aliens.  The two ideas are so vastly different that you can barely even call this a sequel.  There were characters common to both films and I think both were set in the same small town.  So there were things that tied these films together.  

In all seriousness, there are very few ways to distinguish the first movie from the second.  It was almost as if they made "Critters 2" as a crappy homage to the already crappy "Critters".  As it turns out, "Critters" was made to capitalize on the popularity of the movie "Gremlins".  So "Critters 2" is a bad copy of a horrible ripoff.  With all of the great things I have said so far I don't why you are still reading this and not on your way to the local video store to rent or buy it. 

There is one guaranteed way to know whether you are watching part one or part two.  That reason is Scott Grimes.  He was smartly carried over from the first film.  The way you can tell you are watching "Critters 2" is that Scott Grimes is slightly older, slightly wiser, but just as ginger as in the original.  Casting Grimes in the sequel was a stroke of genius because you're not going to not see a movie with Scott Grimes in it.  That's would be crazy. 

Other than Scott Grimes, everything else is just about the same.  Small town people portrayed in an over the top redneck stereotype fashion....check.  Furry little aliens that roll (and by roll I mean are pulled by wires that they don't even attempt to hide) and bite people...check.  Shape-shifting alien bounty hunters with advanced weapons that do zilch to stop the critters so the small town people have to come up with a plan and defeat the little monsters in a folksy manner...double check.  Scott Grimes gets the girl...eww, but check.

You're probably wondering why I chose to review "Critters 2" instead of "Critters".  Normally I would tell you not to think so much because my profiles are about terrible 80's movies.  But today I will share.  The biggest difference between the first and second movies is that part two didn't even try to take itself seriously like the first one did.  I have a lot of respect for terrible filmmakers who realize, and even cherish, that they are making a terrible film.  Also, "Critters 3" and "Critters 4" were just really, really bad and unwatchable.

So if you're in the mood for a really good Sci-Fi/Horror film, watch "Aliens".  If the video store doesn't have that, or "Alien", or "The Terminator", or "T2", or Gremlins 2: The New Batch", or "Killer Klowns From Outer Space" or "Sex And The City 2", you should definitely rent "Critters 2".  No matter what film you choose, make sure you appreciate that you are in one of  only five remaining video stores left in the world.  The best part is that you can go ahead and keep the movie because the video store will most likely be gone within the week.

Eleven Eleven Eleven

So as you may or may not know, today is November 11th, 2011.  If you were to write that date out numerically, it would be either 11/11/11 or 11/11/11 depending on whether you lead off with the day or month.  Because this particular date works out to be in a pattern people have worked themselves up into quite a lather.  I haven't seen people this excited since about this time last year when it was 10/10/10. 

I don't really find any of this all that exciting.  Mostly because it has happened once a year for the last 10 years.  Guess what else happens once a year:  Arbor Day and the Country Music Awards.  Both of these have been going on for longer than a decade and are barely blips on my radar.  Just to clarify, I picked Arbor Day and the CMA's at random.  I wasn't trying to alienate the portion of my audience that are fans of trees and spousal abuse. 

I do understand that with all those elevens, people just want to have some fun with it.  I'm ok with that, just don't try to force significance on the date.  Unless you are a part of the very small portion of the earth's population that will be meeting Regis Philbin for the 1st time today, I highly doubt you will remember anything that happens today (we're gonna miss you Regis!).  I'll wager that there will be nothing any more memorable today than there is anything unlucky that happens on a Friday the 13th.

Perhaps I am just being a party pooper.  Speaking of which, I have heard people are having 11/11/11 parties.  That just seems silly.  It's not like people ever needed a reason to party on a Friday night before.  If you did really need a reason to party, it is Veteran's day.  I understand that this is traditionally a more somber and respectful holiday, but it doesn't have to be that way.  As a former service member, I can tell you from first hand experience.  The men and women of America's Armed Forces, when given the chance, know how to get down.

So have your fun today.  It is November 11th, 2011.  There are very few chances for friends and family to get together and have fun this time of year (except Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, New Year's, and probably Arbor Day).  Also, it's not like we have December 12th, 2012 (12/12/12) to look forward to because, as everyone knows, the world is ending before that.  Have a nice day!!!