School's Out For Summer Countdown Spectacular

Well here we are at the end of another school year.  It's that wonderful time of year when Alice Cooper can enjoy some sweet, albeit brief, relevance.  In honor of school's end, I am counting down the top 10 movie teachers of all time.  So sit back and don't take notes because this will not be on the final exam.

10 - The teacher/stripper from Varsity Blues - Most of you think you know why this teacher made my list, but you're wrong.  Maybe a teacher/stripper was a fantasy for some of you, but the female teachers at my school had an average age of 73 (so yeah, it was a fantasy for me too).  They say the true judge of character is the company you keep and her co-stars were James Van Der Beek and Scott Caan, so...yeah.

9 - Professor Jennings from Animal House - This pot smoking college professor who had inappropriate relationships with students was portrayed by Donald Sutherland.  It shouldn't even be necessary to go on, but I will for those a little slower on the uptake.  Donald Sutherland played Ronald in the movie Backdraft so everything else that he does is by default - awesome.

8 - Mrs. Tingle from Teaching Mrs. Tingle - Helen Mirren tied to a chair in her bedroom wasn't the most traditional of classroom settings, but she was still able to teach valuable lessons, in life.  I actually think kidnapping a teacher would be a more realistic fantasy than the teacher/stripper one from above.  It would be a logistical nightmare though because what would you feed a teacher?  I have no idea what they eat. 

7 - Mr. Escalante from Stand and Deliver - It's like the old saying goes:  Give Lou Diamond Phillips a fish and he will eat for a day.  Teach Lou Diamond Phillips to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. 

6 - Mr. Kotter from Welcome Back, Kotter -  Mr. Kotter and Mr. Escalante faced similar challenges but the advantage goes to Mr. Kotter.  The Sweathogs were a much rougher crew than any inner city gang from Los Angeles.  You disagree?  Ok, let Vinnie Barbarino tell you, "Up your nose with a rubber hose" and then you look me in the eye and tell me that's better than getting slashed across the back with a box cutter.  Yeah, that's what I thought.

5 - Yoda from every Star Wars movie - This may stretch the limits a little, but technically he was a teacher.  He taught Jedi for hundreds of years so he was definitely tenured.  Also, I really like to strengthen all of my lists by having Yoda on them.

4 - The teacher from Van Halen's Hot for Teacher video - That lady had to be in the same room as David Lee Roth for an extended period of time.  Don't you think she deserves a little something for that?

3 - Mr. Shoop from Summer School - Mark Harmon wore a Hawaiian shirt and there was a dog named WonderMutt that wore sunglasses.  Pretty much everything about Mr. Shoop was awesome.

2 - Mr. Strickland from the Back to the Future movies - Let's get this out of the way before I get bombarded with hate emails.  I know he was a principal and not a teacher, but he was associated with a institution of learning and that qualifies him in my book.  I really liked his no-nonsense style and that he called people slackers.  I feel that slacker is a very underrated put down. 

1 - Any teacher from any movie or television show that wasn't Robin Williams in Dead Poet's Society - Mr. Keating from Dead Poet's Society was ok at first, but became exhausting.  So the number one spot on the list goes to pretty much everyone else.

So there is the list, I hope you liked it.  Enjoy your summer vacations.  Even though for adults, summer vacation just means going to work like every other day except it's hot.