The Agony Of Defeat

Well it's no secret that the Pittsburgh Steelers lost the Super Bowl last night.  I am a lifelong Steelers fan so as you can imagine the loss doesn't make me want to do cartwheels down the sidewalk.  I'm definitely going to do cartwheels down the sidewalk today, but for entirely different reasons.  If you add in the fact that it is a Monday, you can do the math and figure out that I am in a sour mood today.  Rather than bash the Steelers and their mediocre play in the biggest game of the year, I'm going to go after easier targets.  That's right, I'm going to take out my aggression on Christina Aguilera and The Black Eyed Peas. 

So what happened with Christina Aguilera and the national anthem?  I didn't have a problem with her singing.  It was typical Christina Aguilera shooting really big noises out of her mouth.  How do you mess up the words to a song that the average 3rd grader knows?  I don't sing the national anthem everyday, and if you put me on the spot, I would probably duff a couple of the lyrics too.  Here is the difference.  If you asked me to sing it in front of people, I would probably take a look see at a lyric sheet if I was a little shaky on what the words to the song were.  Also, it was the Super Bowl.  Did she think that nobody would be watching?  Maybe she figured since it was before kickoff, everyone was still in the kitchen grabbing plates of wings.  Whatever the reason, I hope they never ask her back to sing....anywhere....ever.  Her last album tanked, her acting debut in "Burlesque" ate it, and I am willing to bet if I said, "Christina Aguilera go in the kitchen and make me a grilled cheese," she would burn it.

Next we have the halftime show featuring The Black Eyed Peas.  Sweet Lord where do I start?  I actually went into halftime with not extremely low expectations.  I'm not a huge fan of them, but they aren't geriatric like the last few halftime performers, so how bad could it be?  They definitely showed me just how bad.  Let me start by saying it isn't fair to lump all of the Peas into one big pile of sucking.  My main beef is with Fergie.  Why is she in this group?  She obviously can't sing.  She isn't going to win any beauty pageants unless it's the Miss Meth Addict At A Cleveland Bus Station.  I wonder if Regis will host that again this year?  She's not a good dancer.  Fergie really has no discernible talents whatsoever.  The first two or three seconds of her singing the mic was not turned on.  My opinion is they should have quit there while they were ahead.  The next few lines of butchered singing made me think that if she was on American Idol, Randy would be holding a paper in front of his face to hide his laughter and ask, "Dog, are you for real?  Dog, seriously dog.  Dog, please."  So then after we all suffered through a couple songs they brought out Slash.  Slash = awesome.  GNR = awesome.  Fergie slaughtering GNR even with backing guitars by Slash = painful.  I think after this disaster The Black Eyed Peas should have a meeting to discuss a new token female singer.  I hear Christina Aguilera is looking for work.  If I can say one thing on a positive note.  The dancers wearing the light up TRON suits were very cool.  So if you muted the horrible singing and just watched them, I suppose it wouldn't have been half bad.

So all in all the Super Bowl was not at all super.  Both teams played very average games.  The Packers just played a little better than average.  The pregame and halftime "entertainment" was dreadful.  The commercials were alright, but not necessary (see my last post).  I guess I will just have to get ready for March Madness or the four months of hockey playoffs coming up.