Gone But Not Forgotten

Just in case you didn't get it, my last post was a lame April Fool's joke.

I'm the kind of guy that when I fall for a certain type of food or beverage, I fall hard.  I have had long enjoyable relationships with many foods and drinks, some even to this day.  Alas, things don't always work out and I have had my heart (and stomach) broken.  Without any warning, these delicious items are taken from me without any signs of coming back.  Here is a list of foods and drinks that left me at the food altar. 

Hi-C Ecto Cooler - This was one of my first food heartbreaks as it happened when I was just a boy.  Ecto Cooler was a green flavored drink that was a tie-in to the movie Ghostbusters.  Even though I really enjoyed the thirst quenching slime colored goodness that was Ecto Cooler, I understand why it went away.  Since there hasn't been a Ghostbusters movie in about 20 years (and no that doesn't mean we are due for a remake) it would be odd to keep it around. 

Ben and Jerry's Kaberry Kaboom Ice Cream - This was a very tough loss for me because I felt it was completely unjustified.  So here was the basic premise of the ice cream for those that never basked in its glory.  It was a mixed berry flavored ice cream with a secret ingredient....wait for it....POP ROCKS!  So the berry flavor was solid enough that it would have been fine just like that.  But then you add the tiny Pop Rock explosions and was like Mardi Gras for your mouth.  The evil bastard Ben and his maniacal sidekick Jerry were jealous and put this flavor of ice cream to death.  It's true, there is a flavor graveyard at their headquarters and it has a headstone and everything. 

Doritos Black Pepper Jack - I want to start out by saying that I love Doritos.  Cool Ranch and I have been together for a long, long time.  But sometimes in a long relationship, you have to spice things up.  That was where Black Pepper Jack came in.  It was the tastiest of all of Doritos' hundreds of flavors.  Just like the old story goes, boy meets tortilla chip, tortilla chip leaves boy because it was only a limited run flavor, boy is sad, tortilla chip occasionally comes back for more limited runs and then leaves boy again.  Doritos comes out with a new flavor every 2 or 3 days but none has come close.  All of the flavors are variations of the words spicy, zesty, pizza, and taco and they all taste the same.  I just have to sit around and wait for the next limited run.

Bush's Bold and Spicy Baked Beans - For a very long time the only thing you could do to baked beans to add excitement was to add sliced up hot dogs to make beanie weenies.  Bush's came along and flipped the whole baked bean world upside down.  New flavors came along like Boston Style and Barbecue, but the pinnacle of their baked bean technology was Bold and Spicy.  This was like the Antonio Banderas of baked beans.  It was hot, spicy, and caused flatulence.  Ok, so maybe that analogy doesn't completely work, but you get the idea.  Then with no explanation it was just gone.  I went to the baked bean section of my local grocer and could not find them.  All of Bush's 68 other flavors of baked beans remain, almost mocking me because they took my favorite (and by favorite I mean the only one I actually tried).

Burger King Cheesy Tots - Of all the foods I have lost over the years, this was the hardest to come to grips with.  I still struggle with the grief today.  It was a deep fried tater tot filled with cheese.  It was so simple but so delicious, like a plate of cheese fries in every bite.  What made it special was that no other fast food place offered anything like this.  Burger King didn't even know that what they had was one of a kind and they tossed it into the gutter.  Well I don't know that it was that dramatic, it's just not on their menu anymore.  This was a very tough one to lose, because it made the stomach illness that I suffered from eating their other foods totally worth it. 

They say that it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.  But you know what?  That doesn't put cheesy tots in my belly does it?  I have lost so many foods that I love over the years and because I love eating I am sure I will lose many more.  With food companies trying to adapt to an ever changing world of tastes and severe lack of the busting of ghosts, foods will come and go quickly forever.  I just wish they'd ask me first.

On a side note, if any of these fine products exist in your area, let me know and I will be forever in your debt.  Or if you wanted to really be forever in my debt, bring it to me and cook it for me.